The Heart Myth: Falling In Love Is Controlled By The Heart And The Red Heart Symbol Is Always Related To Love

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The red heart as a symbol for love

As this is one of the first posts on this blog, I want to make things  clear from the very beginning of this blog.Many people use  the red heart shape as a symbol for love. This includes both men and women, just ask any person to draw the heart and he will draw the red symbol. This article was written to deliver one single message which is,

  • You have many wrong and false beliefs about love   and this article describes one of them.
  • You sometimes do not even know that you have   those false beliefs.
  • When you start working on those beliefs, you will dramatically increase your control of your love life.  In this article, I am going to spot the light on the two big myths about the heart and how we fall in love. You will be amazed to know how the media has provided us with such false beliefs and how we did not even try to think about it.

 The heart symbol is not really the heart

We sometimes take many things for granted as if they were rules, and have a deep belief in them without a clear reason for that belief. The problem is that those things or beliefs may not even be right and are the main reasons for other problems in our life. So as long as we continue to believe in those false beliefs, we will continue to have the same problems related to those certain beliefs again and again in our life.

What is really funny is that most people even do not know where that red symbol came from.

When I investigated the matter and why the heart has its shape today, I did not find a clear reason why we think that this red symbol is the heart  and why we relate it to love. I have found some people claiming that this belief was developed by ancient Egyptians, while others tell that it was the Greeks idea, and in fact it does not really matter where the idea came from. What really matters is that it is wrong. The real heart shape is way too different from that symbol and the more important part is that neither the symbol nor the real heart is responsible for falling in love or having certain feelings. So, if you cannot no longer agree with me, then keep reading..

Why i am not using the red heart symbol in the website logo! is a website that discusses love relationship issues, so it would make sense if I use the red heart symbol in the website logo, right?

Wrong! Why? Simply, because this red heart symbol does NOT represent love, feelings and even emotions and so the real heart or the blood pump. I do not even know why for many years I have believed that the heart (the red symbol) is related to emotions while the mind is related to logical thinking and problem solving.

Surprised?! I know because it is how I felt when I first figured out that the real heart “the blood pump” or even that red shape has nothing to do with love and falling in love. I bet you do not have even a single proof that the heart is related or even responsible for our emotions, feelings and falling in love.

Modern science has proved that the heart relationship with love and emotions is totally wrong, when Sigmund Freud has introduced the concept of the unconscious mind.

When it comes to emotions, the unconscious is the king not the heart!

The only function of the heart is to deliver enough blood to various parts of the body. It has nothing to do with emotions and falling in love. Just think of it! When you love someone, you share some feelings and memories, and in order to continue to love this one, you simply have to remember or recall those feelings and memories whenever you him or her. so this process actually involves “remembering” and so it needs a memory. Well, have you ever heard of a heart that have a memory?! Of course not, however I know for sure that every mind has a memory and of course you agree with me on this!

What I am trying to explain is that falling in love, feelings and emotions are things that need to be stored in a place in order to become easy for you to recall them, because if you cannot recall them you will not even remember the one you fall in love with or even hate them. This storage space is not actually the heart and it is called the unconscious mind.

The unconscious mind: the mind behind the mind!

The unconscious or the subconscious mind (as we sometimes call it) is the storage space for all the good and bad experiences you had in your life. It contains your history that you may think you have forgotten about. In fact, not only the history, but the feelings related to that history.

It is also the storage space of the skills you have developed through your life, so that you can automatically do certain tasks that you did not know anything about them in the past, for example: when you started learning to drive your car, you may have been so tension and actually could not have do anything in parallel with driving your car. Today, and after your driving skills have been developed and stored in the unconscious mind, you can drive while talking to a friend, eating a sandwich and even playing with your phone. The funny part is you are no longer tension as it was in the past, and you may even do it on autopilot without having to think about it.

So to make it simple, you can think of it like this: you have one mind which consists of two parts. One of them is the conscious mind which is responsible for logical thinking and problem solving. It is the one used in everyday activities. The other mind is the unconscious mind which works like a memory or a storage space for all the experiences and feelings you had in your life. Both parts are necessary and they work with each other under the control of the main brain or the “Father Mind”.

So, yes it is not the heart which is responsible for feelings and emotion, and it is the unconscious mind which is part of the “Father Mind”.

As we have used to relate the heart to love for a long time, I am not asking you to change your language and use the “unconscious” instead of “heart”. I may sometimes even unintentionally say it. So in the future we will continue to call it “heart”, however deep inside we know that the heart is nothing more than a blood pump!

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About Ali

Ali is the one behind He created this Relationship Advice Blog to share what he has learned through the past 7 years about psychology, women, and relationships to help you control your love life.

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  1. I��m glad I found your article. The information is useful, interesting and well-written. You make beneficial points that I concur with and appreciate. Thank you for this top notch material.

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