Stages Of Grief After A Break Up

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Stages of grief after a break up

Contrarily to common beliefs, the stages of grief after a break up are so unique and completely different than the case when you lose someone of your relatives or a friend to death.

Yes both of them are making you sad, however getting over a break up is sometimes even harder to do.

At the end of this article, we will talk about the acceptance phase and how it makes or breaks your chances of getting over your ex.

The five stages of grief after a break up

Some experts categorize the stages of grief after a break up into 7 steps, and not 5 as i do here, however it makes no big difference. They just re divide the 5 stages into 7 stages. So do not worry either they are 5 or 7 . Both are right and both explain the stages you go through from the breakup to recovery.

The Denial stage

This is the stage where you can’t really accept the fact of the break up. You still can not picture that the relationship is over.

This stage is also known as the shock stage and the wondering stage, because suddenly the break up has happened and you find yourself alone after being in a relationship.

If you are the one who ended the relationship, then you may not be surprised the same way in case you are the one who has been dumped, however in both cases you will refuse to accept what has happened.

“No baby, you do not mean it, do you?” is a common sentence, but when you realize that it is over, your defense mechanism and ego start to take over the situation and lead you to the next stage.

The Anger stage

After realizing that it’s over, you will most likely feel angry, because you think that this would not has happened and you even do not know the reason for what this break up.

You might feel anger because you think that she has deceived you, or she did not appreciate what you have offered to her and the relationship.

In some cases, not only people feel angry, but also they start thinking of seeking revenge from the other person.

This stage also is not that long, because after a while you will not be able to keep this anger state of mind and so you start thing of getting back together again and here is the start of the bargaining stage.

Anyway, the overall picture of this stage is that you do not blame yourself and instead you are angry and blame everything on your spouse. You think that you are right and she is the bad girl.

The Bargaining and Depression stage

This is the longest, most strange and dangerous phase.

The hope starts to arise again. While you was blaming everything on your girl and think that you are right and that she is the bad girl, you start to rethink, reevaluate, and see the situation from a different angle. Actually it is her angle.

After rethinking about the matter, you talk to yourself and say “ why  don’t I try to correct things with her” “we are humans, and everyone might make mistakes, so why don’t I try to forgive her”

So, it is not so long before you find yourself calling her again and asking her to get back together. In most cases, she will not agree and that’s why you start begging her.

As she continues to refuse getting back together, the hope starts to disappear again and your ego starts to hurt you… “Okay, I do not care if we get back together again. In fact it would be better not to do”

Now you are depressed, and actually this is the decision point. If you kept listening to sad break up songs, visiting the same places you were visiting together and so on, then you will not advance to the next step and in fact this is what keeps people stuck in the break up.

However, if you managed to kill the hope, then congratulation! You can advance to the next stage.

The Acceptance stage

This is the stage when you accept and acknowledge the situation. Now you are aware of the fact that it’s over. And this is actually the begging of recovery stage.

Remember when I told you at the begging of the article that getting over someone you loved may even be harder than forgetting someone you lost to death?

The keyword here is acceptance. In case of death, you can understand that it is over. After all, how on earth will you get someone dead back to life again? So you do not have any hope.

Unlike the previous situation, you still do have hope to get back together with your ex because she is still alive and if you managed to convince her, then you will get her back! And here is where the hope starts to accumulate again, and that’s why you cannot accept it and so forget your ex and get over the break up.

The Recovery stage

This is when you finally accept that it is over. Your ex girlfriend is still alive, and you may even work with her and see her everyday but she is a normal person and no longer means to you like before, and will never.

Break Me Free Program was developed based on psychology and hypnosis and will help you get over the breakup fast and easily. It will help you break your attachment to your ex and feel confident and fine without your ex and so give you the power to move on. You can watch a free video here about how it works.

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About Ali

Ali is the one behind Relationshippa.com. He created this Relationship Advice Blog to share what he has learned through the past 7 years about psychology, women, and relationships to help you control your love life.

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