In order for you to understand rebound relationships, let me first tell you about an important research. A Scientific research has shown that falling in love with a new person produces some kind of chemicals in the brain. Those chemicals are very similar to those produced after taking a dose of drugs.
In other words, when you fall in love with someone, your brain starts to generate certain chemicals and after a while you get used to those chemicals as if they were drugs i.e. you become addicted to the amount of chemicals produced every day out of being in love with someone.
What really happens when you feel like you miss someone is that you miss your daily dose of those chemicals, so right after a break up, your subconscious mind realizes that the source of those chemicals has been gone and you have to find another alternative source which in our case a rebound relationship.
With that said, rebound relationships can be nothing more than an analgesic or pain killer that can be addicted and become hard to quit.
What is a Rebound Relationship?
A rebound relationship is a relationship that occurs within a short period after or before a break up. The rebounder or the person who wants a rebound relationship is usually wants to fill the gap that his old lover left.
A rebound relationship is nothing more than a quick fix (as rebounders think) to the break up problem and the pain created out of it.
As I said, rebound relationships do not only happens right after a break up. They may also happen just before the break-up when the rebounder becomes sure that the relationship is about to end and so there is a need for another source to provide the same amounts of chemicals produced when being in the first relationship.
In this case the main purpose of the rebound relationship is to prevent the person from experiencing the pain that occurs before or after break-ups.
Another very important fact is that a rebound relationship should not always be new. In other words, when your ex girlfriend asks you to stay friends with her, she is actually using you for a rebound.
And what most people do not know is that this is a case of a rebound relationship which happens right after a break up and the only difference about this case is that this rebound relationship does NOT require a new lover as the girl makes use of her ex to get over him or vice versa.
Signs of a rebound relationship
If you are the rebounder, it is common for you to feel or have one or more of the following signs:
- Eagerness for being in love too fast.
- Loving love itself or being in love regardless of the lover!
- You are moving too fast towards your lover as if you are hungry for love!
- You often talk about your ex with your new partner!
- While being in the rebound relationship, You still fantasize (many times) about your ex getting back to you!
- You feel like the new relationship is boosting your self esteem!
- You feel like the new relationship (the rebound relationship).
- You feel like the new relationship gives you a good mood by dredging you of attention and care!
- You are still looking for other potential partners although you are already in a new relationship!
- You are still missing your ex!
- You are still making comparisons between your ex and your new partner!
In a nutshell, you don’t feel like you’re serious about your partner and the whole relationship!
Just ask yourself this question: if I was given the chance to get back to my ex and the old relationship, would I agree or I would continue with my new lover?
If your answer is yes, I would get back to my ex… then you are in a rebound relationship for sure.
If your answer is: I do not know or I’m not sure, then there is a HIGH possibility that you are in a rebound relationship and you have to decide which side you would take if you was given such a second chance.
However, If your answer is a CLEAR NO, then this is not a rebound relationship or it started as a rebound relationship and has been transformed into a real or even a committed relationship.
Do rebound relationships work?
Sometimes yes and sometimes no, but the normal case or the higher possibility is that they do not work because they are built on an emotional compensation basis which is not a constant base, however if this variable basis turned into a constant one i.e you started to really fall in love with new partner, then this rebound relationship is going to work.
As you have just read, a relationship may start as a rebound relationship and after a while it may be transformed into a real love relationship.
This is simply because your mindset and your criteria for selecting your potential partner are subjected to change right before and after a break up. You may feel like your older criteria were completely wrong and you should not follow the same criteria for choosing your next partner.
For example, a man who used to put a lot of weight to a woman’s looks when choosing his wife or girlfriend, will certainly doubt his criteria after the failure of his relationship with that blond woman (just for example) and he May or May NOT realize that his criteria were wrong and should be changed.
This change in criteria depends on many things but as you may have guessed, the more you are an un experienced lover, the higher the possibility that you may change your criteria.
The success of the rebound relationship depends on many factors like:
- Whether you are flexible to change your criteria or not.
- What are your new criteria?
- Whether you stick to the new criteria or just feel like need to modify them again.
- How is your new lover compatible to both your old and new criteria? And how is he/she able to understand you and your needs?
As you can see the success of a rebound relationship is possible but it depends on a complicated formula that determines whether your rebound relationship is going to work or it will be nothing more than a transient stage between two stable stages.
Rebound relationship advice
My advice for you is: if you can wait for a little time right after the break and try to completely forget your ex girlfriend before you enter a new relationship, then this would make you even emotionally stronger and your chances to avoid a rebound relationship are even higher.
But what if you feel like wanting to start a new relationship right after the break up and cannot wait?
What if you are stubborn just like me and cannot be convinced before you try things out yourself?
Well.. in this case I’m not going to ask you to wait because you do not want to wait and I know you will not wait so if this is the case you have to do the following:
- Try to carefully choose your new partner
- Try not to tell him/ her that you love him/ her before you are sure that the relationship may succeed.
- Do your best regarding increasing your self esteem. This point is the most important one. It will make you stronger and more clear about the new relationship and even able to leave your ex and your new partner without feeling bad like before.
If you are already in a rebound relationship then just do the last point and if you have not tell each other that you love each other then postpone this step to later time when you become sure of your feelings towards the new lover.
if you are the rebounder then reevaluate the relationship and ask yourself if you were not dumped or going through a break up, would you have loved your new partner?
If yes, the continue! If no, then break up with your new lover before it becomes harder for them to understand your excuses!
But in case your partner is the rebounder, then ask yourself: Do you really love your new partner? if no! then break up with them and do not just stay because it would not be kind of you to leave them! Sooner is better! Trust me.
But if you find that you love the rebounder then put them in some tests to check how the rebounder feel about you. If he or she started to fall in love like you then continue, otherwise face them and check again but if you found that it is a one sided love (from your side), and the rebounder is just needing you to stand again on his/her legs then it should be the end of the rebound relationship.
Another important thing is: when you are the rebounder try to learn how to change your beliefs about love and break ups. This will simply make it easier for you to deal with a break up and when you manage to deal with a break up and get over the pain, then you will find that you have no need to use a rebound relationship.
Break Me Free Program was developed based on psychology and hypnosis and will help you get over the breakup fast and easily. It will help you break your attachment to your ex and feel confident and fine without your ex and so give you the power to move on. You can watch a free video here about how it works.