The Importance Of Self Confidence!

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Recently, I have received an email from a guy who told me that he likes this relationship advice blog and asked why I am writing about self confidence and not dedicating all my time and efforts talking and writing about relationship advice and psychology instead. After all, what is the importance of self confidence and is it that so important to the extent that I dedicate a certain a category in the blog for self confidence advice?!

Well, let’s see what relationship advice is all about first, then we will see what is the relationship between self confidence and relationship advice.

Relationship advice and the importance of self confidence

Relationship advice is divided into three main parts.:

1-  Advice before the relationship: which talks about attraction, dating, and how to find and attract your soul mate.

2-  Advice during the relationship: this is the kind of advice regarding improving communication between couples and eliminating conflicts.

3-  Advice after the relationship: This is where breakup advice comes. It is either regarding getting your ex back or getting over her/him.

So what does this have to do with the importance of self confidence?

Importance of self confidence before the relationship

When you are single and watching couples loving each other everywhere you may feel bad. This is very obvious when Valentine’s day comes and you find yourself lonely. Now, if you are self confident, then you will not attach your self worth to being single or in a relationship. In other words you will not think that you are strange or not attractive enough to be in a relationship and will never think of things like that there is no one who can find you attractive enough to make a relationship with you. Things like these never happen to confident people.

Another thing is that when you find your dream girl and try to approach her, you have to be confident and never come as clingy, insecure or needy otherwise you will lose her forever. All the pickup lines will never work for you if you are not confident enough to walk and talk to the woman you like.

Also, in the case of one sided love, if you are not confident enough to take the risk and approach the woman you love, you will remain stuck into this situation forever.

As you can see, self confidence is extremely important to simply get you into a relationship.

Importance of self confidence during  the relationship

During a relationship (understanding stage and the power struggle stage) things go up and down. There are many conflicts and arguments that will face every couple. Let’s consider Jealousy as an example.

Ask any Psychology expert about the reason of jealousy and they will tell you that the main reason behind jealousy is lack of self confidence. In other words, if a man is self confident and not insecure, he will not become jealous of his woman’s exes or other men in her life like her colleagues in work or whoever. This will actually dramatically decrease the amount of endless arguments between couples.

Another obvious and common example is when your woman criticizes you about anything either it be big or small, then if you are insecure you will make a big deal of it, however if you are confident and you are sure of who you are then you will treat her like your 4 year old sister and consider it a normal mood swing that all women have :)

I think it is now very obvious that self confidence is extremely important to avoid many conflicts and for a relationship to continue.

Importance of self confidence after the end of the relationship.

If self confidence is important before the relationship and during the relationship then it is very very very important ( cannot stress this anymore ) after the end of the relationship or in other words after the breakup.

In my article what to do after a breakup, I have said that the first thing to do is to work on improving your self confidence and this is simply because the reason most people suffer after a breakup is not because missing your ex, but because of the rejection itself and so attaching your self worth to the fact that you have been dumped or rejected.

In most scenarios, working on your self confidence and self esteem will at least help ease the pain resulting from the breakup and in many cases, this alone can help you completely get over the breakup.

Even if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, you will need to be very cool and confident especially if you are applying the no contact rule.

Conclusion about the importance of self confidence

I think the importance of self confidence for a relationship advice blog is now very clear, and when I dedicate a whole category to self confidence in this relationship advice blog, I am actually writing about a very important and related topic which can make or break your relationship and your whole love life.

Now I will do my homework and write more posts about self confidence and you also should do your homework by working on your self confidence and building a higher self esteem right now.

Eduard Ezeanu is the author of the Social Confidence Program, in which he explains how to eliminate your shyness and have a killer self esteem. Not only the program will dramatically boost your self esteem, but also it will tell you the reasons behind your low self esteem and how to overcome them using very simple but effective techniques that REALLY WORK!! You can Click Here to watch a Free Presentation now.

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About Ali

Ali is the one behind He created this Relationship Advice Blog to share what he has learned through the past 7 years about psychology, women, and relationships to help you control your love life.

Find Ali on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter.


  1. Bill says:

    Ali – I’m not a young person any more, and all my life I’ve been subject to some of the matters you discussed. I tend to be interested in things that the vast majority of people do not indulge in. It’s not by choice, as I can’t help it – and I avoid being ‘false’ in order to mix with others.
    I was blessed (or cursed) with a very high IQ (that’s not a personal achievement so I’d don’t see it as bragging to mention it), and it was difficult to mix with the society I was born into; and I disliked what I saw as pretentiousness in other areas of society.
    Anyway – finding your site has brought me to think objectively about certain things again. Best wishes.
    Bill recently posted..History Of Hypnosis And The Path To TodayMy Profile

  2. Jennie says:

    I totally agree a good healthy dose of self esteem is essential on both sides for a good relationship. We need to be sure of our own worth both in and outside of the relationship, to avoid being needy, jealous or rejecting. I think a lot of people need to understand the difference between self confidence and arrogance.

  3. Don says:

    Great breakdown on the importance of self confidence. I always say that you need to work on you first before you can work on getting into a relationship because if you can’t handle the relationship (not self confident enough) then there is no point in having a relationship in the first place because it will fail.
    Don recently posted..3 Ways to Destroy Your RelationshipMy Profile

  4. Dhruv Bhagat says:

    Well, girls always like a guy that has self confidence.. Also, if you are applying for a job.. In the interview, may be you are the topper of your college, but if you lack in self confidence, you won’t be accepted..

    Also, one should not convert his self confidence into the over-confidence by just faking things!!

    Nice post, btw! :)
    Dhruv Bhagat recently posted..50 Amazing Ways To Tell A Girl You Love Her So MuchMy Profile

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