How To Get Your Girlfriend To Forgive You For Cheating On Her

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This is the most definitive guide on how to  get your ex girlfriend back and get her to forgive you if you cheated on her, however i have to make some assumptions before even proceeding a bit.

I am going to assume that you have cheated on your wife or girlfriend and she reacted by dumping you.

I also will assume that you regret what you did and want her back because you really appreciate her.

I am going also to assume that you will not repeat it again in the future, as this one is very important.

I have to mention all these assumptions because the information you are about to read is uncommon knowledge! It is really powerful, dangerous and manipulative, and I am not responsible if you misused this information or used it to fool your ex.


If you plan to cheat on her again and use my advice to fool her, then even if you succeeded to fool her, she will know someday and then you will be the loser at the end. You have been warned!

Before telling you how to win her back after cheating on her, I will give you some brief information about the psychology of the cheated-on partner, to help you understand your woman.

The psychology of the cheated-on partner

When it comes to cheating, men are different than women. They perceive cheating as a stab to their manhood, they take it more personal.

However, on the other hand, a woman perceives cheating as a stab to the relationship itself, rather than the woman herself.

That said, the good news is that it is easier for men than women to get their ex-lovers back when they cheat. In other words, women are more likely to forgive than men and this is simply because:

  • Women do not take it personal.
  • You hurt the relationship, not her in the first place. Thus, showing a lot of dedication to the relationship can dramatically increase your chances for getting her back.
  • In case of wives, they may forgive for the sake of the kids or sometimes because they have no source of income rather than their husbands.

 Now, let’s dive into your woman’s mind to know how she thinks right now..

The way to get your girlfriend back after you lied or cheated on her

Psychologists tell us that your woman will go through three main stages that follow the Cheating, and they are:

  • Roller-coaster stage: this is the stage where there are many emotional ups and downs at the same time. Conflicting feelings are also very popular at this stage. She may feel angry then blame herself for the cheating at the end of the day. Sometimes she is sad, sometimes depressed about the whole matter and sometimes she cannot stop thinking why this happened.
  • Moratorium: After a while your woman will stop the negative thinking and start to analyze what happened while refusing any kind of either emotional connection or physical contact. She will also seek other people help and advice and she may start dating other guys.
  • Trust building: This is the last stage and it is not necessary that it comes as it is only for those who want to continue and get back again together. Reaching this stage means that you have succeeded in getting your ex-girlfriend/wife back again.

As you may have guessed, you are NOT ALLOWED to use NO CONTACT RULE or even some Mind Games here. NEVER! EVER! As it will make things even worse.

Now, we have to find another alternative that suits this specific situation, so let’s see what we can do about it..

How to get your ex girlfriend back and get her to forgive you for cheating on her?

Here is the golden rule..

Getting her to forgive you is all about getting her guard or defense mechanism system down.

So let’s see how you can do it.

First of all, in order to get her to forgive you, you have to know that the earlier your action is, the better your chances are.

For example, check the above stages and identify where your woman is now. If she is still in the first stage which is the roller-coaster stage, it is very easy to interrupt her thoughts as I will tell you just right now.

However, if she is in the Moratorium stage, then it is more difficult to get her to listen to you, and maybe she is with another guy.

The following tips will help you get her back. You can apply any tip in any time or stage; however you will get the best results by applying the every tip in each particular time or stage as mentioned here.

  • Act quickly.  

As I mentioned above, you quick action can make or break your chances for winning her back.

  • Be sure to admit and to confirm that you are wrong many times.

This one is very clear and should be done regardless of the stage which your woman is in right now. When you admit you are wrong, you get her defensive mechanism down and make her even more confused which will lead to the next step.

  • Re frame yourself as a victim! (Very powerful)

Yes! You hear me right! By framing yourself as a victim you will get her defensive mechanism even more down, because she will start to blame herself or at least put some responsibility on her own shoulders.  Blame it on her that you needed her, while she neglected you either sexually or emotionally and then tell her again how she is very important to you and how you always needed her. In fact it is the reason you cheated on her.

 As you can see it is simple like this. You are the victim, you are weak, you love her so much and really need her, but she may did not notice your need for her and when she was not there for you, you unintentionally cheated on her. This tip is best used in the roller-coaster stage while she is still confused and it will be easier to get through her mind radar system and to get her to listen to you.

  • Stress on the fact that men cheat by lure of sex, and not because of emotions.

This is very important for her as it means that you may admire the other woman sexually but you do not have any emotions for her i.e. you do not love her. So , while you are wrong cheating on your woman, you tell her that she is the only love in your life.

  • Focus on the relationship and the relationship future more than her.

Remember what i told you earlier that women do not take it personal? They perceive cheating as a stab to the relationship itself. Thus by talking a lot about the great future, waiting for both of you and your relationship, and by showing some dedication and commitment, it will not be that difficult to get her back again.

  • Relatives and mutual friends.

Being in the moratorium stage, your woman will be ready to hear from the people she trusts.

All what you have to do is to identify those people and approach them before her, then tell them that you are regretful and you will not do it again. Then ask them to talk to your girl or wait for her to come, and then advise her to get back to you as you are regretful and will not do it again bla bla bla. The more people you approach to help you, the more you will get closer to getting her back into your arms again.

A final word about getting your girl back if you cheated on her.

After you get her back and getting her to forgive you, please do yourself and your woman a favor, be sincere and decide that you will never cheat on her or on any woman again. (of course what I mean by any woman is that in case you did not succeed to get her back and dated another women), otherwise, the above techniques will lose their effectiveness and credibility and so do you. You have been warned!

You may also want to check my ultimate guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back .

Matt Huston created the ex2 system and helped many guys get their ex girlfriends back. Not only Matt will tell you about killer tactics and techniques to get her back, but also he gives a complete guide named “Train your girlfriend” as a bonus to help you keep her after you get her back. You can read a complete review of the ex2 system here or you can listen to Matt’s free audio presentation here. ( Hint: the video may take some time to start so wait about 5 to 10 seconds for the video to load because there are too many people trying to access the server and watch that video).

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About Ali

Ali is the one behind He created this Relationship Advice Blog to share what he has learned through the past 7 years about psychology, women, and relationships to help you control your love life.

Find Ali on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter.


  1. ‘Women don’t take it personally’? I’d love to hear more on that since every woman I’ve known that have been cheated on have taken it very very personally, Ali. I get the stab to the relationship part but it’s a very personal thing, whether it’s a woman or a guy.

    My real main concern that I’d like you to cover is whether you think it’s really a good thing to contemplate using manipulative techniques in the first place? Isn’t this making a poor situation even worse?
    Martin Cooney recently posted..When Is It Actually Cheating?My Profile

    • Ali says:

      Well :)
      I have to explain..

      1- there is no one who does not take it personally but comparing women to men.. women care way more about the relationship.. they think that the a man should be loyal to the relationship not the woman herself in the first place.

      2- every rule has an exception and women low intentions of a long term relationship may not even care about the relationship. some women who are self centered.. some are gold digger and so on.

      3- Yes those techniques are manipulative and that’s why there is a big warning at the beginning of the post, however what should you do if there is nothing to do except for mind games and manipulative tricks?? and no it will not make a poor situation worse, simply because if you have already lost everything, so there is nothing to lose.

      If i were in such a situation, i would have done anything possible or not possible to get my woman back, however after that, i would focus on changing my bad behavior and focus my attention on avoiding repeating my mistakes again.

      and the above techniques apply also for many things rather than cheating like if you lied to her or did whatever made her upset and caused her to leave you.

      And thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment :)

      • Ahhhh ok well I think that both personally and the relationship both run a very close first, for a woman, Ali :)
        Anyway, if all else has failed and you’ve been an absolute idiot to lose her with very poor behaviour and you’re thinking about resorting to manipulating her, I think the situation might just be too far gone anyway. I’d be interested to hear of any real life situations where this has been effective as well as having long term stability though.
        Martin Cooney recently posted..Sexual Betrayal, Cheating and What The Truth Really IsMy Profile

        • Ali says:

          Yeah this exactly like when you are driving your car and suddenly you discover that YOU MADE A MISTAKE and you are driving in the wrong direction.
          The solution is very simple: CONTINUE TO DRIVE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION UNTIL YOU FIND A “U TURN” :)
          This post provides a “U TURN” for guys who are already driving their cars in the wrong direction, but at the same time i warn them to continue in the wrong direction forever and forget about the u turn.

      • Gunnar Jones says:

        Does this also work for teenagers? I’m 14 and have been on and off with this girl for over 2 years now. She said she wanted a break, and I’m not sure what happened but I asked a girl for pictures and never deleted the conversation and she saw it and she dumped me and said were never getting back together. I tried to get her back and your right it doesn’t help at all. She calls me a drama queen and stuff and I’m not sure what to do now. I want her back cause now I’m appreciating her more and more realizing I love her and need her. Can you help me? This happened on wednesday and is now friday, is it too soon? I don’t know I’m so confused

        • Ali says:

          Time has nothing to do with getting her back in such a case except for the stage in which she is in right now.
          I did not get what you mean by “She said she wanted a break”. Do you mean that she said that before or after she had seen your conversation with that girl?
          Anyway, here are what to do in both cases:
          1- She said that before she saw the conversation: then most probably you was too available for her or even acted needy or clingy. I suggest that you use the no contact rule. More info here:
          2- She said that after she had seen the conversation: then follow the advice provided in the above article after checking the stage (Roller-coaster, Moratorium, or trust building).
          My advice for you is to move on if this trial did not work, you are still too young to insist on a specific girl. Your age is highly suitable for working on your self esteem and social confidence instead.
          Good luck.
          Ali recently posted..How To Be Confident Around Women?My Profile

  2. Ben Davis says:

    What if your gf broke up with you and in that time of the breakup you slept with another girl?

  3. David says:

    I cheated on my girlfriend half a year ago and have decided to confess to her earlier. She dumped me, still talked to me and said we’re still friends. We went out for dinner and we even had sex the week after.
    Then I have to be out of town for a while and within a week she said move on and find something better blah blah blah. She said she hates herself and feel dirty and she’s not worth it. Plus she said she won’t be back as she said she knows me well enough that I’ll hurt her and she don’t allow it.
    What should I do now?

    • Ali says:

      Following the above steps guarantees that you will get her back and focus on re framing yourself as a victim.

  4. Brian says:

    Hey Ali,

    So I went to a party, took ecstasy for the first time and cheated on my girlfriend whom I had been with for 2 years, I told her about it the following day and she broke up with me. We were entirely codependant on eachother and her entire universe revolved around me. To the point she is now in a dark depression, doesnt wanna hear from me or speak to me, Doesnt know what to do, she even struggles to get out of bed in the mornings. I took full responsibility for my actions whilst making her aware it would never have happened had I not taken the drug. This is entirely genuine. She was then flirting with contact for a few days and now she is just angry and doesnt want to talk. She thinks I have ruined everything, she is obsessing over finding out who it was, which to be honest I dont even know myself. We have gone from inseparable to being like we never knew eachother. 1 week has passed. I got very anxious and sent her a very soppy text pleading for her back, she didnt respond. I later called her, I was crying and she told me how my text had annoyed her, though she did not know why. I am not sure if your method would work in this scenario or whether I should play the no contact card? I would love your help. Thank you,

  5. Brian says:

    I must also add, that she believes I would never do such a thing, when i pleaded to her that i had never intended to hurt her like this..that agrees and says she knows..but that everything is ruined now because of it….I know if I play my cards right I can win her back… I am just not sure which method to execute in doing so. I was her hero, her inspiration, she thought higher of me than anyone in the universe. Now i have shattered that fantasy. She says she doesnt know who I am anymore. She wants the Brian she fell in love with back.

    Thanks for your help Ali

    • Ali says:

      Never use no contact. The above method will work perfectly but do not show her that all what you are focusing on is getting her back. You have to show her that while you care about getting her back, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT YOU CARE ABOUT IS HER AND HER HAPPINESS, GOT IT?? So, instead of begging her to forgive you and get back to you, just message her from time to time and say that you are checking on her.

  6. Brian says:

    Hi Ali,

    Did you remove my comment? If so could you email me explaining why so i can rephrase it? I could really do with your help man.

    Kind Regards,

    • Ali says:

      which one dear?? if you mean the one above.. Actually i read every single comment and i just need some time to review all of them, reply lots of emails, write more articles and lots of stuff.

  7. Brian says:

    Okay I will do that, thank you very much man! :)

  8. Jim Bob says:

    So.. im19, male and I live in Birmingham. Me and my gf have been going out for 4-5 months and she found out I’ve been cheating this whole time. Her and my ex bumped into each other at a party and that’s when all the dirty details came out from my ex and obviously my gf was pissed.
    I’ve been in many relationships before, but this is the only girl ive ever properly liked (I know right why did I cheat, but hey a man has needs), we didn’t do anything sexually for the first 3months which was the reason I cheated.
    Without even reading this page, I knew how to get her back and I actually used the stages in that order before I had even seen this page or any other page (being 100% honest). When I saw these stages ti actually freaked me out how I had done it and it actually worked!
    We always said to each other that if either one of us cheats (even a kiss) we would break up, but she found out id been fuckign this other girl all this time but we worked things out…
    Let me tell you what I did for each of these stages, so I can help out my fellow cheating scumbag brothers
    1) As soon as she found out I went to see her, and I acted kinda distant as if I was gonna maybe break up with her. One key to this is to explain everything (With a few white lies) , tell her what she wants to hear and most importantly do NOT apologize, because in my opinion that leads to a breakup.. as it looks like you’re in the wrong.
    2) I kept telling her how she was right all along (she always said I would cheat) and I told her ‘I shoulda listened to you’, ‘ I never wanted to admit it but you’re always right’ – this stuff makes her feel good about herself and women love hearing it.
    3) I told her the reason I cheated was cos she wasn’t doing anything sexually for me, so I had to find it somewhere else. Of course this hurt her but this made her feel like she’s the one who’s done something wrong and she starts to blame herself to an extent so you slowly get away with it.. . I told her that I cared for her so I never wanted to force her into anything sexually and I wanted to wait till she was ready, so it made me seem the good guy.
    4) I told her repeatedly that the cheating was purely sexual and that I had no feelings whatsoever for the other girl. Told her that everytime I was with the other girl the only way I could get hard was thinking of her (this made her a lil happy I think)
    5) I never apologized, I always just said ‘ can’t wait till we have kids, get married etc.’ saw her more times the week she found out I had cheated than I had ever before, and was constantly saying how I loved her and couldn’t wait to spend our lives together
    6) I told all her friends how much I loved her and how ive been such a dick/idiot and that I was gonna fight till the end for our relationship.. this helped a lot espesh if they understand they will tell her the exact same thing

    Finally, I didn’t make this so guys can constantly cheat on their gfs and just get forgiven. I made it for those guys who have a gf and actually care about the relationship and the girl, but just cant ‘keep it in the pants’.
    I think one of the most important things you gotta do once she finds out is to NOT APOLOGIZE. This may seem weird but if she asks ‘arent you sorry’ change the subject to ‘baby I love you and you’re the one I wanna be with’. I’m not a psychologist or anything but im pretty sure if I kept saying sorry to her it just emphasies on the fact ive cheated and will probably lead to her ending things.
    I get this may make me seem like an absolute dick of a guy. But believe me, I actually love this girl and even tho I cheated I still love her so much, the idea of ‘what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her’ is defo a good one to live by, except in this situation where I was an idiot and fucked with a girl who knows my gf.

    • Ali says:

      Thank you so much Jim for your comment. You have done it the right way.
      Also i agree with you about the apologizing point because the more you apologize the more you confirm that you did a big mistake and the more you make a big deal of it and so make it hard to be forgiven.

  9. Katie says:

    So this is the emotional manipulation my boyfriend is trying on me. Now I know just to dump him. Thanks!

    • Ali says:

      Even if he is trying to emotionally manipulating you, it means that you are still very important for him, so before taking action make sure that you are the winner not the loser and that you will not regret your action and decision in the future!

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