How To Be Attractive To Women If You Are Not Handsome

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People argue with each other about the importance of physical looks. Some claim that it is not important, while others say that it is a must-have for any man to become attractive.

physical looks are the most apparent and obvious trait about a man. It does not need any kind of “marketing” or that you try to tell people about it or to show it to others.

Physical looks do not need any kind of testing by women. Women realize your physical looks and physical attractiveness from the first instant they meet you. Women (and every one) can judge your physical looks even before you say a word.

That’s why a man who is good looking has a slight over advantage over any other guy with an average look, because even before he starts to talk, he is attractive from one point of view which is his physical looks.

Researches tell that women are more interested in guys who can provide security and protection for her and her offspring on the long run. However, it’s common to see a group of women talking about how a certain guy is charming and handsome. So, what is the truth?

The truth is women do care about physical looks; however they do not put too much weight for them.

The explanation of the above story is that a handsome man has a bit over advantage at first, that when women see a handsome guy, not only they perceive his physical attractiveness, but also they start to ASSUME or Hope that the guy is attractive from other points of view such as his way of communication, his confidence level, and his abilities to provide protection and security.

To make it easier for you to understand it, I will use some numbers.

So let’s assume there is a really handsome guy coming to approach a group of women.

At the very beginning, women give him 10/10 as a total evaluation of his overall attractiveness (which is very rare, but let’s just assume it).

Women assume that all other factors that makes him attractive are as good as his physical attractiveness, and so they give him 10/10.

Once the man opens his mouth and starts talking (women are now testing), the 10/10 evaluation will drop to 9/10 if he does not do a good job choosing his words, and it will drop to 8/10 or even less if he was not confident enough.

6/10 is the maximum he can get if he was shaky and with some tension in his tone voice and low to zero sense of humor, the overall evaluation drops to 4/10 or even less.

Of course we did not mention anything yet about financial state and what does this handsome guy do for a living and as you can see the guy is finished.

On the contrary, an average looking guy who is trying to approach a group of women and is given an overall attractiveness evaluation of  5/10, can easily get 6/10 if he uses the suitable words and communicates confidently.

If this guy can market or show his self-assurance and with a good sense of humor, this guy can get a total of  7/10 or 8/10.

Also we did not take into consideration anything about his job and financial status. Of course if the guy has a high paying job, he can easily get 9/10 which is perfect.

As you can see, the slight advantage of the handsome guy over the one with average look puts more responsibilities over his shoulder to keep that 9/10 or 10/10 and prevent it from going down.

By the time, the man with average looks can reach or even exceeds the same level of overall attractiveness that the handsome guy gets. It’s a matter of time.

Good looking Vs. looking good

This is another thing that confuses a lot of men. The handsome guy in the above example does not make any effort to get his looks. He was born like this, and this is something you do not have any kind of control over. However, the good news is that you still have a chance of looking good.

Unlike good looking, looking good is something that you can control. For example if you are over-weight, you can go in a diet. Learn about how to be attractive using your body language and apply what you learn. Skinny and want to gain some weight and build muscles? Just hit the gym. Having a bit expensive haircut and some stylish closes is within your abilities and is something you can control. And believe me it makes a big difference.

Stop this kind of self-deception and blaming life for not being handsome just to escape from going into a diet or making some efforts to lose weight. It is just you are lazy. Just do your homework and your life will dramatically change.

Another thing that is worth mentioning is that every rule has an exception ; that’s some women really want a handsome guy more than anything even if the guy overall attractiveness is low.

The reason for that is that those women have low self-esteem and poor self-image, that’s why they want to compensate for their poor self-image by dating a handsome guy so people would say something like “he preferred her over all those beautiful girls, she must be better than all of them!”. This kind of women want to prove that although they are not beautiful, they are still able to get that handsome guy that many beautiful women cannot get. They just want to brag and show.

An example of women with low self-esteem and poor self-image is arrogant women. Yes arrogant people have low self-esteem.

As you can see, besides that the fact of having a good look may not have a significant effect on your overall attractiveness, it may also attract the bad kind of women to your life. So, if you are one of those “lucky!” guys and have a good look, please take care of this kind of women.

Conclusion

The conclusion is, while physical attractiveness is important, it is just one factor that cannot compensate for other factors that make the overall attraction of a person.

Anyone who is physically attractive still needs a lot of skills to keep his overall attractiveness level to women expectations, otherwise he will not survive.

However, you have to do your best with your looks because they will certainly help you get a first good impression so you have to make whatever can be done to improve your shape and style as long as it is something that is under your control and you can change, otherwise forget about it and focus on other things you can improve.

John Alexander is the author of the famous guide how to become an alpha male , in which he reveals a lot of secrets about attraction and how a man can attract women to him like an alpha male very easily and confidently and keeping them attached to you as well. You may want to check what John says about his guide here.

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About Ali

Ali is the one behind Relationshippa.com. He created this Relationship Advice Blog to share what he has learned through the past 7 years about psychology, women, and relationships to help you control your love life.

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Comments

  1. Dear Ali
    Thanks for sharing the useful topic.Its really Awesome.I enjoyed the read it.

  2. Great points here, Ali.
    Yeah, beauty is just the initial surface thing where everything else starts from.
    I liked the way you explained the point scoring method which is so true, for women.
    Martin Cooney recently posted..Are Guys Attracted to Physical Beauty?My Profile

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